I read something last night and then I dreamt about it and all rolled together, it was like an epiphany.
I woke up and have been going around it ever since in my head, while I showered, while I prepared tea and while I talked to my friend who just got back from his morning exercise.
Was it wrong to take the language path instead of the music path?
Maybe not totally/fundamentally wrong, since languages are definitely something I am very good at without ever really having to work very hard for it. It just comes easy to me. And, I must say, I do enjoy the interpreting part of my job when I get to travel, see new places and meet new people and also, it’s well paid.
But, honestly, I can’t recall the last time I enjoyed a translation. I don’t think I ever really did. Depending on the topic I get either bored or really really frustrated. And I just know that it shouldn’t be like that.
And it scares me to think that maybe it’s too late to start over.
Although, maybe it isn’t. I was always the typical latebloomer. Always the last to understand the joke.
I started over two years ago, from zero, at least emotionally. And look where I am now. Broke like never before but more or less happy and looking optimistically into the future.
Still – something tells me that it’s the music that will eventually make me complete.
I can only hope that miss music will forgive me for taking so long to finally understand.