11. September 2017

Super Parents?

Dude, I am pissed. Like, really pissed.

Who pissed me off?

Parents. Not all of them, but some of them make me really mad.

These parents that claim a life without kids doesn’t make sense.

Because these parents don’t think about how many of us don’t have children because we can’t or couldn’t have them.

And I include myself in this category: childless.

It was never a conscious decision to not have children, I’ve kinda always seen myself having them at some point, but well, for some reason it just didn’t happen. And at 38, my OBGYN told me „You can’t have children the natural way anymore.“ Since I’ve never really felt the urge to become a mother very strongly, why, I didn’t help nature with hormone injections and/or IVF – which, in case I did feel the urge to become a mother, is also a financial question, mind you.

But that doesn’t mean that I applaud my childlessness. I have made my peace with the fact, but it was a tough a painful journey until I could accept that nature had taken this decision out of my hands. And I am lucky enough to say that my childlessness wasn’t caused by a severe disease for example, but rather, that my time frame for having children just might have been a little more limited than other women’s. And sometimes, very very rarely, I still find it kinda sad that I will never experience what kind of little person I would have brought into this world.

And then, these self-proclaimed super parents sing their favorite tune about how beautiful everything is, wow, the tooth fairy coming around for the second time already? Didn’t I just pick you up at the hospital? Man, how time flies, I can’t even imagine what it was like before, without children! And don’t forget to visually document everything online! From the chocolate-smeared little faces to the candysaliva sticky hands, put it all up on the internet! Great! Ask the portrayed kids in ten years, how awesome they find their embarrassing baby pics that the whole world has seen! In reality, and I’m pretty certain of that, these Facebook parents are raising a hue and cry on a regular basis, because their lives are determined by a tiny helpless person of their own making, when all they truly crave is a good night’s sleep. You’re not fooling me.

However, this doesn’t mean I don’t want to see any more kids pictures on Facebook. Do what you think is right.

What I want to call out – and very strongly, indeed – is the statement that a life without having children doesn’t make sense. That is a very insensitive thing to say, and it is completely wrong.

Many parents seem to think that the true and only fulfillment is found in begetting children.

Were your lives so boring and empty before you had them, or what?

Like I said – everyone can and should procreate the way they want. Y’all can also celebrate that any way you choose, in private, in public, I really don’t give a shit.

But don’t rain on our childless parade!


PS: The person whose post ticked me off in the first place has changed his post as a reaction to a comment of mine calling him out. He took out the concept of „not making sense.“ Thanks for that.

I’m still pissed, though, cause I get it all the fucking time.

(This is a translation of my original article written in German.)

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